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Here I am writing a blog about children and social media yet, I can't deny, I am on it a vast amount of the time, sometimes when my children are awake but mostly when they are elsewhere or asleep.
My children aren't on social media or devices because I personally feel they are too young but I know we are fast approaching the dreaded question..."Please can I have a phone??" Worst still..."I want to have a social media account"...ARGH!!!!!! For me, it's not about control in a negative way, it's about protecting my children from what I can't see or hear. I've got to be ultra savvy to know what's out there in cyber space when he logs on. I've got to educate myself as to what games and apps are suitable for his age. I've got to educate him about the negatives of social media andthe positives. I guess, I'll be adding all this to my ever amounting list!
During lockdown I had a number of clients, as well as friends, ask for my advice on the matter. I did some research in which I discovered things that shocked me. Games that appear to be innocent, once picked apart, actually aren't.
We know that many apps & games encourage a child's imagination to play, create, learn and connect with friends. A recent study by Professor Andrew Przybylski, Director of Research at the Oxford Internet Institute, University of Oxford recently completed a study as to the effects of gaming for children over a 2 week period. He reports that the children who gamed appeared to have better well-being to those who didn't, there were caveats of course, but on the whole the children appeared happier and therefore we should not automatically assume games are bad for our children.
Gaming typically starts with a device such as a PlayStation or Nintendo. Next comes the mobile phone...this of course can be massively positive, they allow you to keep in touch with your child all the time but it means all gaming & apps are in your back pocket. Your child has exposure to an online world around the clock UNLESS you put in ground rules, boundaries!!
Firstly, talk to your child about how they will be expected to use their device. Talk openly about switch off times & what time, for example, bedtime is. Perhaps create a healthy habit of leaving the phone downstairs prior to bed so you know if your child wakes in the night they can't 'log on!' It is making me out to be harsh, especially since I have my phone by my bedside overnight and if a client communicates with me at 3am, I've been known to respond. However, as an adult I make this decision knowing what my parameters are, a child/young adult needs boundaries at this stage.
Think about what mobile payment plan you have for your child, it may be advisable to have a cut off if not on WIFI perhaps or a phone that cannot allow anything over 1GB of data, again, worth discussing up front with your child, this is not meant to prevent gaming merely support healthy gaming habits.
Discuss passwords and how they can protect an account, explain they are not to disclose this to anyone.
Add in smart filters if the phone has any, check in the settings for this.
Teach your child about over-sharing info, making sure privacy settings are all ON.
Explain they are not allowed to share anyone else's information online without consent as this may cause distress & significant upset.
Discuss unacceptable online behaviour such as cyber-bullying and what the ramifications could be.
Explain about scams and how by clicking a link from someone they don't know can allow hackers in or data out.
Talk about people creating false identities, only accepting people you know online.
Try to come to an agreement about being able to check your child's phone/device so you can support them in decisions, this is not about trust, this is about keeping your child safe whilst being online.
Educate each other as to what age range apps & games are, find out about it through informative websites so you can both decide if it is suitable for your child. For example: did you know Snapchat is suitable for 13+yr olds but according to the NSPCC Net Aware, they determined it to have an average safety rating with exposure to low-level violence & sexualised content. Not ideal if your 9yr old wants Snapchat downloaded.
Be curious about what your child is doing online, ask questions such as "What's your favourite app this week??" ..."And why is that??"
Keep the lines of communication open. This is SO important so your child can approach you if something does happen online they wish to talk to you.
One fascinating tool my son was given via school, is a Google incentive program called Interland. This game has been created to encourage children to learn about acceptable behaviours online and what they need to do, it teaches about hackers & cyber-bullies and how to speak out about them. I was surprised he had absorbed so much whilst trying to fit off the big robotic figure in the game!! More info at https://beinternetawesome.withgoogle.com/en_us/interland
Should you want to check out about other online safety information...head to NSPCC Net Aware and you'll be able to check through 71 different apps and games to decide if they are suitable for your child or not.
Another useful portal I found was info@parentzone.org providing useful up to date information and tips for parents to check out.
To conclude, the answer as to whether allowing your child to be online with social media is right or wrong, the answer is neither. It is about protecting our children through boundaries and setting healthy habits for them so their online experience can be enjoyed for what it was set up for in the first place; entertainment!
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