Discipline should be about teaching... never punishing.

Here's a scenario - your 2yr old comes over and hits you on the leg, OUCH, it hurt, it may trigger your own feelings of crossness/anger. You may decide to put them in a 'time-out.' Your child screams whilst on the time-out step but you leave them anyhow because after-all, they have hurt you and need to learn from it, right?

What does this teach your child? It teaches them, whilst they perhaps know they did something wrong, you couldn't make it better by comforting them in their most vulnerable state. If you hope they will reflect and think about their actions for next time, I'm sorry to say, this method does not teach this.

No 2yr old child I've cared for, or supported, sits on a step in a time-out thinking through how they mustn't repeat this behaviour. It's just not in their cognitive ability to make this correlation. They have not been understood, they will merely repeat this behaviour again to see if their parent/carer understands them next time.

What could you try? As a parent, I know how hard it is not to jump in with emotions but if you can take a breath, calm yourself and embrace your child, you will get different outcomes. Recognise why the child hit in the first place, was it because they were playing & they became excited, were they unhappy with you in that moment? Prevention is always helpful but not always possible. When your child hits, you could simply hug them and explain that their actions hurt you. If you prefer, get down on their level and say words along the lines of "we don't use our hands to hit, that hurt me..." whilst holding them.

Speak to your child with a moderate tone of voice, but once said, allow the child to continue with their play. Apologising is not something we should expect from our children, with this method, you may find over time, your child says sorry voluntarily.

I'm really keen as parents we should never label a child, make sure you use the word "your behaviour." Behaviour can be fixed therefore transferring the issue onto behaviour NOT the child themselves. Think about using a method of "time-in" rather than "time-out" and simply explain, in not too many words, that the child's behaviour was not acceptable.